I did not grasp a concept that love is something we should save
Until later
Like we are flowers buds covered by snow fall
Waiting for one someone to warm us to life,
To become whole
Like love
Isn’t the thread that sews the cosmos together.
But I still remember the time when
We were on my parent’s coach and
Eighteen felt a lot like free falling and not caring where I landed
And I remember thinking he was deserving
Of my body and
Him pushing boundaries with fingers and things
Even when I said
“Not ready”
When in reality my walls were crumbling with each prodding
Thinking maybe
I should just be ready.
And I remember the time I really felt like my body
Was just a means to his end
When my face was being forced against him
And I hope he tasted the fear and anger on my tongue
And I remember apologizing to him
For getting so mad about
“Nothing”.
And he melted me and felt mostly like daisies and a lot like the dirt.
And then I ended up dating this guy for a couple times
And I told him over again,
Kiss me but don’t touch my thighs
And the same day he swore,
“I didn’t know what I was touching”
And I ended up apologizing
For having to move his hand away.